The time has come for me to tell you what none of us wanted to say or hear. Sasha has moved into a new phase, beginning just four or five days ago, characterized by great weakness (he can barely lift his head), loss of weight (he’s somewhere around 130 lbs.), and reluctance to utter more than single words at a time.
We are still blessed in that he has no pain—or when he does have a twinge or even a needle-strike, it’s over immediately, and we haven’t had to give him any of the strong pain medicines which Hospice has available. We hope it continues that way.
But everything else is not good news. He’s holding on to life, or at least his body is fighting the good fight (he was always extremely strong and healthy, until a few years ago), and it’s possible that he may live to see his 89th birthday, but we can’t be sure. For that matter, he may stay with us for several months more, but we would be surprised if he did.
Sasha knows that he’s dying, but that doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t know he has cancer of the liver, and there’s no need for him to know; that knowledge would give him nothing useful. After all, as he has said, “We all have to die of something!”
Thanks to all of you for your support all these years. We appreciate every single dollar and every note or e-mail. You have kept our Tibetan and British caregivers here with him, and he has been surrounded by love and a lot of laughter, due to your help and compassion.
I’ll let you know when there is an important change. In the meantime,
Ann and Team Shulgin
Photo by Greg Manning